The Last Time We Met
by blackroses101
Summary: The thoughts of Cammie Morgan after breaking up with Josh. Please R&R.


It had been at least three months since I'd seen Josh. Not that I didn't want to. I desperately wanted to see him but as my cover dictates, I was over him. I wasn't supposed to care anymore. But I couldn't stop caring; it was all I thought about in my free time.

Unfortunately, recently the teachers had been pilling the work on – even more than usual. Which is a lot. A lot, a lot. So I hadn't exactly had all the time in the world to be thinking about things outside our walls and even less to contemplate taking an excursion to the town of Roseville. I just needed to cling desperately to every last vision of him.

So I never expected for my mother to stride into the Grand Hall one chilly Friday night and announce, "I've recently had a meeting with the school council and we've decided that we've been pushing you all quite hard lately and I understand that none of you have had a lot of free time. So tomorrow you will have the opportunity to spend the day in Roseville. The winter fair is on we want you all to just have a relaxing day out."

My mind immediately began formulating plans and going at a million miles an hour while my heart felt as if it was beating weirdly, in a way I'm pretty sure no amount of science and Dr. Fibs testing could explain.

Later that night when Bex and Liz had gone to Tina's room for a 007 movie marathon, I sought Macey's advice and she figured why. I was truly starting to believe that of all the geniuses at the Gallagher Academy, Macey was perhaps the most brilliant of us all. So she lent me her $900 boots that made your legs look like they'd been physically stretched into the perfect shape they ought to be. And she lent me one of her designer coats and only made one comment, "I hope this is all worth it." I simply nodded my head and hoped.

I woke up at six the next morning and went directly to the shower. I was nervous but as my training had taught me, I wasn't going to let it show any time soon.

As I left the bathroom fifteen minutes later, Macey was awake with her make up kit at the ready and her straightner already plugged in and heating up. It was weird, I couldn't object. Bex and Liz were still fast asleep, they'd never know so I let Macey transform me from an ugly duckling to super model and it felt amazing.

When it finally came time to leave, I couldn't wait. The walk seemed somehow longer than normal but I didn't mind. The cold numbing wind blew like sheets of ice in my face and I could feel the freezing air infiltrate my lungs. Then a shiver went down my back and it hit me what I was doing. Was it crazy? Definitely, I really only had my heart to be broken again with no other barrier left but I couldn't help myself.

As we eventually got to town I wandered round for a while, spent time with my friends and do what I do best: disappear. I surveyed the area. Looking for Dylan or any of Josh's friends but I couldn't see them. So many thoughts began racing through my mind, what if Josh and his friends decided not to come? It _was_ frightfully cold. But then I glimpsed Josh's mother and that's what scared me most. I'd never thought what I would say. What _do_ you say to your ex-boyfriend's Mom?

But my thoughts were interrupted by a quiet cough behind me. It was the man himself: Josh Abrams. My heart began to race as he gave me a small smile and we began to chat; but it was awkward. Really awkward. I was starting to hate myself for getting my hopes up. The conversation flowed for a couple of minutes and I began to get my self confidence back but then as all things must, our time together came to an end again. We both feverishly wished each other a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and then kind of vaguely waved at each other as we went our different ways.

My heart immediately fell to bits. I desperately wanted to turn round, run right back down that road and hug Josh. I wanted him to tell me that my hair looked pretty out or that he loved what I was wearing, like he had so many times before. Most of I all I wanted him to hug me back, give me a kiss on the cheek and show me that head-turning smile. Just so I knew it was fine.

But none of that happened. Nothing of what I had hoped for happened and so I had to survive an excruciating day in the freezing cold at the Roseville fair. I wanted to curl up on my bed or my mom's couch and cry my eyes out – like any other normal girl. But I couldn't. That was never going to happen because I was never going to be a normal girl. And at that moment I hated it.

Not surprisingly, I walked back to school early and curled up by myself by the fireside in the silent library. I was, in a word: numb. I didn't eve realise but small tear drops were escaping the corners of my eyes and silently running down my cheeks. I wasn't thinking of anything, but all I thought of was Josh. That was until my Mom came in. She didn't need to ask what was wrong. She just sat down beside me, wrapped her arms around me and let me fall into a sleep I would have loved to stay in forever.


End file.
